Today we put Lemontine in the earth near a tree in our front yard. People who attended his funeral:My niece, My boyfriend and his father..and I. We all gave a speech and consoled each other. Afterwards my boyfriend and my niece all went to the walking trail and walked about 2 miles. We were out there for a good while just observing nature. I picked a few flours for Lemontines grave and I tied them with a long peace thin and flat stringy leaf. The weather was nice,,,chilly and refreshing after the winter months. I thought of Lemontine a lot on that walk...I think the walking helped me feel more at peace with the burial... Like we had given him to mother nature and mother nature was giving back to us while providing us with such a lovely breezy day and plenty of trees to provide fresh oxygen for us on our walk.

Tonight I lost one of my best friends. He was a noble and kind Rat. My Lemontine. He was sick a few weeks back and we took him to the vet and he got better in a few days...then a few weeks later he started to feel ill again. We took him back to the vet and got him some medication. The medication didnt seem to help. He started to bleed from his eyes and penis and cried in pain. Last night I dreamed of him passing away...and when I woke up I got him out of his bed and nursed him all day. I was holding him three hours straight when Lemontine passed. The pain for me is bad,,but i'm truely glad hes not suffering anymore.

Lemontine was a such a lovely creature and He is forever going to live on in my heart. My thoughts are stuck on that magical little guy.


Things I adored about Lemontine:

-His loving personality and affectionate presence
-The way he could win his way into anyones heart
-The way he say so patienly on my lap or shoulder while he gave me kisses
-The way he would jump up when I walked past his bed
-The way he always complimented my cooking by eating every bit of it (he sure did love to much)
-I loved the way he ate with his little delicate hands
-the way he gobbled up ice cream and yogurt
-He was one of the few creatures that enjoyed veggies as much as I did (he was a vegetarian his whole life)
-his company in the garden
-his cute little smile and pink nose and ears and his perfectly round belly
-The way he always kept clean and friendly
-His rat chatter, I used to love it when I picked him up and he just couldn't wait to chat
-The way he would sleep against the side of the glass cage with his plump cheeks pushed against the glass
-I loved the way he Loved me to be their ....I loved having him their

Lemontine was a true gentleman to all creatures and he will always be remembered as one uniquely loving creature~

I'm back

Okay so I just discovered a really sweet walking track in my neighborhood. It's been there for awhile and I hadn't even noticed for a long time. I went for a walk there the other day and really enjoyed it. I'm going to be visiting it much more often. I wish I had a big dog to take with me for protection. Sadly my boyfriend just hurt his knee and needs to stay of of it.

I've had this pair of BCBG jeans since the begginng of this year and have not worn them yet. I bought them without trying them on because I hate trying clothes on at the store. When I got home they didn't fit me and I had lost my receipt so I couldn't take them back. I thought I might sale them on EBAY but I never got around to it. Today I decided to randomly try them on again and they fit me! AND I don't just fit into them, I fit into them well without muffin topping or feeling like i'm going to burst the seems :p. I'm happy to say I finally got myself into a size 4!

i really need to start working out. it doesnt help that i just lost my job.i hated that job though

I hate it when i'm on my period. I always find that i need to eat a little more to feel healthy and not get dizzy. I don't eat very much as it is so when i'm on my period if i keep to my normal diet I start to feel really bad. So when i'm on my period I have to up my fluid intake a up my nutrients a little so i don't get that rotting feeling in my stomach or dizzy spells. I'm not sure if other girls out there have this problem too.

I was wondering if there is anything that I could do to make me feel better.

I'm not a vegan but i don't eat dairy often. I choose to still indulge in dairy from time to time. Recently I started eating fage yogurt and its really GOOD! easily the best i've had.

"FAGE has managed to create lowfat and nonfat Greek-syle yogurts that are creamy, delicious and indulgent with tons of protein and little to no fat!  I am not a non-fat yogurt girl so my favorite is the FAGE Total 2% yogurt.  One cup (8oz) of FAGE Total 2% has only 150 calories, 4.5 grams of fat (3g saturated), and a whopping 20 grams of protein!!  And the best part?  It is so creamy and delicious, it feels like you are eating something sinful!  Seriously, this is the only yogurt I will buy now.  FAGE Total 2% has ruined all other yogurts for me!

And for those of you who prefer something completely nonfat, the FAGE Total 0% is pretty good as far as nonfat yogurts go.  One cup of FAGE Total 0% contains 120 calories, 0 grams fat, and 20 grams of protein. While I can eat the 2% yogurt by itself, I find that the nonfat has a slightly strange flavor (like I said, I’m not a nonfat girl!) so I like to pair it with a drizzle of honey or some fresh fruit.  And I  definitely feel that this is the best nonfat Greek-style yogurt out there!"



So i think this is my new treat food from now on.

i've been reading a lot about detox diets. I enjoy reading about how the body works and digest foods. If anyone out there has any good websites on this topic please let me know.


&& I want to eat like a bunny!

My mother got me into her gym yesterday for a little while. I was able to get a pretty good work out in. I even went to some water arobics class with my mommy to make her feel happy. It was really easy but still pretty enjoyable. I felt good when leaving and headed to the pet store and got my niece a dwarf hamster.

Did pretty good with my meals yesterday. Kinda the usual thing. Energy bar, tea, and a salad with wasa crackers for dinner.

I just walked a mile in the 101degree heat. My head is hurting. I tried to drink some water thinking it would help but its not helping yet. I'm not hungry, I had a energy bar before leaving the house. At least i'm at my mothers now and its pretty cool here, when the sun goes down i might go swimming, i love swimming so much.

I was planning on getting a gym membership with my boyfriend at the start of this month but now hes talking about holding off until the start of next month. I want to work out but this summer heat is killing me and i only have a/c in one room of my house that isnt very work out friendly. I try to go walking outside at night but things get a little scary. walking isnt enough either.

i just want to work out.

Age: 21
Height: 5'6
Current Weight: 136
Target Weight: 125-130?

I want to be a healthier and stronger person. I have lost 80 pounds in about two years and it wasn't easy but it sure feels great now. I just want to work on myself some more and would like some sort of support group. I'm hoping I will be able to find advice on how to tone up and get into better shape. I don't know if I want to loose much weight or if toning up will be what I need to look my best. I don't want to be a stick figure, i just want to lean up. Even though i've lost a lot of wieght i still jiggle in some places and I want that gone.  I try to maintain a healthy vegetarian diet and have been a vegetarian for 5 years.

I would like to find help and offer my advice here!

Yesterday I told a friend about a sweet treat that my boyfriend got me. I told her it taste really good and its only 54 calories. She acted offended and told me that she didn't to hear it. I really wasn't my intention to make her feel bad but i guess thats what i did. Whenever I talk about healthy foods to most of my friends they get annoyed. I don't know why this is but i guess i should just keep silent. I don't mention it all that much anyways.

Last night I went out to a bar for the first time and had a friend order me a cherry vodka sour. I'm sure it was loaded with calories but I had it anyways. I really hadn't eaten much yesterday, just a all organic peanut butter and jelly sandwich and corn shelled taco. After the first drink I had two vodka tonics. They were really good and a vodka tonic was the only thing i could think of that wouldn't have to many calories. I try not to consume much alcohol but i decided i should treat myself.

I feel okay today, want to go swimming but i left my swimsuit elsewhere..

I went out to eat with my boyfriend and a friend tonight. I had a salad and ate till i was about 75-80% full. I feel pretty comfy right now. I'm looking forward to going out tomorrow and getting some healthy food. We just got a new fridge after going a couple of months with just a tiny small fridge. It will be nice having some more room. I'm also looking forward to getting a gym membership next week with my boyfriend. 

I would like to go running outside some but its far to hot. Its been up in the 100's here. I'm used to walking about two miles to get to work on my work days but I have to carry a umbrella with me the whole time so i don't burn. When I get this membership It is going to make working out much more doable.

It's been awhile since i've been on here. I have grown and changed a lot since. The only thing that hasn't grown is my belt size. I feel like a much healthier person then I used to be. My mental and physical state is much better then it was in the past. I am still working on my self and will not neglect my body anymore like i have done so many times in the past.

When starting this journal I was up towards 190. Currently I am 135-138. Right now my goals are to loose a little more weight and tone up.

Feel free to offer your advice!

giving. and taking very little